There’s no getting around it: some episodes of Buffy and Angel are bad, ranging from the laughably bad (think Hyena possession) to the cringe-worthy bad (anything with evil Cordelia). Taking risks and experimenting with different concepts is usually a good thing, but oh how I wish that there weren't so many phallic demons in the Buffyverse.
254. Go Fish
Buffy Season 2, Episode 20
Written by Elin Hampton and David Fury
Directed by David Semel
I will never forgive this episode for existing in the middle of the amazing latter half of Buffy season 2. It revolves around the coach of the swim team turning his students into rapey fish monsters, culminating in a truly ludicrous final scene where the fish monsters swim away freely in the ocean. Were the parents of these boys ever notified that their sons swam away in the ocean? Does the school face any ramifications for turning students into fish monsters? Did we really need a gang rape reference in a Buffy episode? No, no and no.
253. Beer Bad
Buffy Season 4, Episode 5
Written by Tracy Forbes
Directed by David Solomon
College students turn into alcoholic cavemen because alcohol = bad. This episode was destined to be terrible since it was paid for by the Office of National Drug Control Policy.
252. Expecting
Angel Season 1, Episode 12
Written by Howard Gordon
Directed by David Semel
An attempt at body horror that ends up punishing Cordelia for having casual sex. Pass.
251. Doublemeat Palace
Buffy Season 6, Episode 12
Written by Jane Espenson
Directed by Nick Marck
The idea of exploring the mundane nature of Buffy’s depression could have been interesting, but instead we get a meat grinder mystery and an old lady with a penis demon coming out of her skull. Overall, the episode is a slog, interspersed with a truly depressing sex scene between Buffy and Spike.
250. Double or Nothing
Angel Season 3, Episode 18
Written By David Goodman
Directed By David Grossman
Gunn sells his soul for a pickup truck. ‘Nuff said.
249. Inside Out
Angel Season 4, Episode 17
Written and Directed by Steven DeKnight
This whole episode is a giant WTF. Evil Cordelia is revealed, with the help of truly awful flashbacks involving her naked, covered in blood, wielding an axe. Then there are annoying scenes of her trying to manipulate Connor that are excruciating to watch. To cap off the madness, Cordelia gives birth to a full-grown Gina Torres. I know that a lot of the Evil Cordelia stuff was written last-minute to deal with Charisma Carpenter’s real-life pregnancy, but it’s so bad I refuse to give it the benefit of the doubt.
Side note: This terrible plot line is obviously the result of Joss Whedon being a sexist dick - please read Charisma Carpenter's words on the subject. Suffice it to say, Joss Whedon sucks and should not be held up as a feminist role model. Cordelia and Charisma deserved better.
248. Goodbye, Iowa
Buffy Season 4, Episode 14
Written by Marti Noxon
Directed by David Soloman
And now an episode focused on Riley going through medication withdrawal that also includes a lengthy Adam monologue. Passsss. Adam is not interesting, not even after he mutilates a little boy to see how he was made. Adam is the worst.
247. Where the Wild Things Are
Buffy Season 4, Episode 18
Written by Tracey Forbes
Directed by David Solomon
The main plot of this episode is ridiculous: Buffy and Riley have so much sex that they awaken sexually repressed child poltergeists. Just writing that was painful.
246. Inca Mummy Girl
Buffy Season 2, Episode 4
Written by Matt Kien & Joe Reinkemeyer
Directed by Ellen Pressmen
A hot exchange student turns out to be an ancient mummy princess who was killed when she was still a teenager and now wants to exact vengeance. Who saw that coming? No one, which is annoying because the mummy girl acts so weird. And poor Ampada, the real exchange student - dude was murdered at a bus station and nothing was done.
245. Why We Fight
Angel Season 5, Episode 13
Written by Steven DeKnight & Drew Goddard
Directed by Terrence O’Hara
A random new character arrives at Wolfram & Hart to torment Angel for siring him on a submarine in WWII. Oh, and Spike was on the same submarine, for some reason. Unfortunately, shoehorning Spike into the story does not make the episode any more interesting.
244. Apocalypse, Nowish
Angel Season 4, Episode 7
Written by Steven DeKnight
Directed by Vern Gillum
Time to burn the retinas because CORDELIA HAS SEX WITH CONNOR. Y'know Connor, Angel’s estranged son, who is still a teenager (though it is amusing how far out of the way the show goes to establish that Connor is 18). Cordelia’s character arc in season 4 of Angel is the worst in the entire Buffyverse (again, because Joss Whedon failed at being a decent human being but also failed creatively).
243. Some Assembly Required
Buffy Season 2, Episode 2
Written by Ty King
Directed by Bruce Seth Green
Two science club nerds use body parts to create the perfect girlfriend for an undead football star = a bad MOTW episode.
242. Shroud of Rahmon
Angel Season 2, Episode 8
Written by Jim Kouf
Directed by David Grossman
This episode does something I hate: it begins with a crazy scene out of context - Angel biting Kate - and then tries to explain it by showing what happened hours earlier. Unfortunately, the context is not interesting. Turns out Angel and Gunn went on an undercover mission to destroy … a crazy blanket. Huh?
241. Smashed
Buffy Season 6, Episode 9
Written by Drew Greenberg
Directed by Turi Meyer
I understand the arc of Willow overusing magic, but the scene with her and Amy using magic at the Bronze is straight up ridiculous. Then Buffy and Spike fuck a house down, which kinda sorta sexualizes intimate partner violence. Cool, cool cool cool.
240. I Robot, You Jane
Buffy Season 1, Episode 8
Written by Ashley Gable
Directed by Stephen Posey
Willow gets catfished by a “guy” online who turns out to be - you guessed it - a demon that was scanned into the internet. The representation of the internet is ridiculously dated. It's also hard not to wonder why the demon decided to involve himself in the affairs of teenagers at Sunnydale High instead of doing crazy shit like using the internet to access nuclear codes or amass tons of money.
239. Beauty and the Beasts
Buffy Season 3, Episode 4
Written by Marti Noxon
Directed by James Whitmore Jr.
This episode does not handle the topic of intimate partner violence very well. I get the message that some men don’t need supernatural assistance to be monsters. But it's hard not to cringe when Buffy tells Debbie the best way not to get a black eye is to “not get hit”. Ugh.
238. Empty Places
Buffy Season 7, Episode 19
Written by Drew Greenberg
Directed by James Contner
Everyone sucks in this episode. Shortly after leading the group into a death trap, Buffy expects the others to go along with her new plan without question. The team then proceeds to elect Faith as leader and Dawn kicks Buffy out of her own home. C’mon, people.
237. Thing Dead Line
Angel Season 2, Episode 14
Written by Jim Kouf & Shawn Ryan
Directed by Scott McGinnis
A police chief summons dead officers who were killed on the streets to exact revenge on a racialized community while Angel and Co. try to protect kids in a teen shelter. If this episode was trying to comment on the connections between police brutality, poverty and systemic racism, it completely misses the mark. There is zero nuance here. Instead, Gunn and Kate just pontificate about why gun violence is bad.
236. The Pack
Buffy Season 1, Episode 6
Written by Matt Kiene & Joe Reinkemeyer
Directed by Bruce Seth Green
A.K.A. the one where Principal Flutie gets eaten alive. I won’t lie, this episode brings me great joy, but it is for all the wrong reasons. A group of students, including Xander, become possessed by hyenas and then proceed to act like an actual pack of hyenas. It’s never really explained why this happens, but it’s hard to care because it leads to a bizarre, yet amusing, slo-mo walking sequence that features the “pack” after eating a pig alive. Hard to believe this scene was filmed with complete sincerity.
235. Provider
Angel Season 3, Episode 12
Written by Scott Murphy
Directed by Bill Norton
Angel sends everyone on their own work assignments to make money because fatherhood. Each assignment is supposed to have twists but none of them are clever. Fred’s story is particularly bad. A group of demons that want her brain use truly awful computer graphics to communicate this plan to each another.
234. She
Angel Season 1, Episode 13
Written by Marti Noxon & David Greenwalt
Directed by David Greenwalt
You want to leave because of the clunky FGM allegory involving female demon warriors, but you stick around for the Angel/Wesley dance scenes. And by stick around I mean you reluctantly tolerate the episode once and then never watch it again.
233. Over the Rainbow
Angel Season 2, Episode 20
Written by Mere Smith
Directed by Fred Keller
A boring Pylea episode. There’s so much talking about going through the portal but next to zero action until the very end. The scenes with Cordelia in Pylea are not great, either. When she is not being gratuitously sexualized, she’s having wonky exchanges with villagers who call her a “cow”.
Side note: What is with the so-called enhanced vampire hearing? It is never used consistently in either Buffy or Angel.
232. The House Always Wins
Angel Season 4, Episode 3
Written by David Fury
Directed by Marita Gabiak
This episode seems to exist solely to make Fred paint her skin green and dress up in a skimpy outfit. Otherwise, it’s pointless. I love Lorne, but I can only take so much of his singing.
231. Bad Eggs
Buffy Season 2, Episode 12
Written by Marti Noxon
Directed by David Greenwalt
Beyond setting up how teenagers are basically hormones with legs for “Surprise/Innocence”, this episode tries to capitalize on the gross-out factor of little monsters in eggs infecting human bodies. It is not essential viewing.
230. Happy Anniversary
Angel Season 2, Episode 13
Written by David Greenwalt
Directed by Bill Norton
A plot synopsis says it all: A physicist wants to stop time to prevent his girlfriend from breaking up with him (creep factor - he wants to do this while they are having sex). Angel works to stop this because it is gross and bad. There also are other religious dudes involved in this time stopping thing, for some reason. Aside from the fun pairing of Angel and Lorne, there is not much to like here.
229. Teacher’s Pet
Buffy Season 1, Episode 4
Written by David Greenwalt
Directed by Bruce Seth Green
Before hot mummy girl, there was a hot teacher who turned out to be a massive praying mantis who found joy in the little things in life, like biting the heads off of her teenage conquests. It's... not good.
228. I Fall to Pieces
Angel Season 1, Episode 4
Written by David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon
Directed by Vern Gillum
This episode tries to address a very important topic of men harassing women but fails to be taken seriously because the villain uses a literal floating eyeball to stalk his partner. A floating eyeball! It’s hard not to laugh every time it’s on the screen, which is probably not the reaction the writers were going for.
227. The Puppet Show
Buffy Season 1, Episode 9
Written by Rob Des Hotel & Dean Batali
Directed by Ellen Pressman
For a season one episode, "Puppet Show" is passable because it subverts traditional horror tropes and involves a funny scene of the gang performing in the school talent show. But in the context of the entire series, it’s not close to good.
226. All the Way
Buffy Season 6, Episode 6
Written by Steven DeKnight
Directed by David Solomon
Dawn runs away with Amber Tamblyn to hang out with two older boys. They go to a creepy old man’s house but the twist is that the boys are vampires! The old man was an obvious red herring since he said things like “Who wants to help daddy in the kitchen?” to a bunch of teenagers. The rest of the episode goes like this: Buffy is on a quest to rescue Dawn, yadda yadda, extended fight scene, and the end.
225. When She was Bad
Buffy Season 2, Episode 1
Written and Directed by Joss Whedon
I watched this episode and all I got was the memory of Buffy doing an uncomfortable sexy dance with Xander to mess with the emotions of her friends.
224. Long Day’s Journey
Angel Season 4, Episode 9
Written by Mere Smith
Directed by Terrence O’Harra
The Beast is planning to blot out the sun! The group tries to stop him because the ensuing plot holes are sure to destroy the world! But they fail because “someone” kills the last totem guy (we find out later it was Evil Cordelia). At this point, Cordelia has become one of the worst characters in the series. Her high-horse bullshit is also super annoying. How dare she call Gwen a “super tramp” when she slept with Angel’s teenaged son. I know she’s secretly evil now, but does she have to lose literally every good quality the real Cordelia ever had?
223. The I in Team
Buffy Season 4, Episode 13
Written by David Fury
Directed by James Contner
The Initiative plot line had so much potential until it literally kills it off in this episode. At first, it seems like the show is heading into a Buffy vs. Professor Walsh showdown, which could've been cool (save for the ickiness of her watching Buffy and Riley have sex). But then Adam, the part-human, part-demon, part-cyborg, kills Professor Walsh and utters the worst line reading of “Mommy” of all time. Welcome to the rest of Buffy season 4.
222. First Impressions
Angel Season 2, Episode 3
Written by Shawn Ryan
Directed by James Contner
The problem with this episode is that it’s forgettable. I watched it and had to Google what happened upon writing the review. The only thing that sticks out is Cordelia's casual racism.
221. Ted
Buffy Season 2, Episode 11
Written by David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon
Directed by Bruce Seth Green
The show attempts to delve into the moral issue of a Slayer killing a human and fails. After Buffy “kills” Ted, he comes back to life because he is a robot, thereby eliminating all need for Buffy to contemplate the sacredness of human life. Really, what was the point of this?
220. Listening to Fear
Buffy Season 5, Episode 9
Written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner
Directed by David Solomon
This episode goes seriously off the rails. At first it seems like a decent examination about how difficult it is for Buffy to cope with her Mother’s illness. But then random aliens are called to Earth by Ben the Intern and things get bad, fast. Plus, Riley goes to a vampire brothel. Bleh.
219. Living Conditions
Buffy Season 4, Episode 2
Written by Marti Noxon
Directed by David Grossman
Buffy’s college roommate turns out to be a demon. How coincidental and ultimately pointless. We also meet Parker Abrams this episode - yuck.
218. Bring on the Night
Buffy Season 7, Episode 10
Written by Marti Noxon and Douglas Petrie
Directed by Michael Grossman
The potentials arrive and Kennedy is already insufferable. There is not much that is enjoyable about this episode. Even Buffy’s speech at the end, which is supposed to be rousing, falls flat. It’s as if the writers and SMG lost the energy to do the Slayer thing any more.
217. Redefinition
Angel Season 2, Episode 11
Written by Mere Smith
Directed by Michael Grossman
What is up with the voiceover in this episode? It’s like they are trying (and failing) to make Angel sound like Batman. The cheesy voiceover is complemented by terrible drunk acting by the rest of the cast.
216. The Girl in Question
Angel Season 5, Episode 20
Written by Steven DeKnight and Drew Goddard
Directed by David Greenwalt
This episode is gimmicky and enjoyable at moments, but it is infuriatingly, tonally out of whack with the last stretch episodes of Angel season 5. Angel and Spike's constant bickering in Italy is worth a chuckle but not much else.
215. There’s No Place Like Plrtz Glrb
Angel season 2, Episode 22
Written and Directed by David Greenwalt
The best thing about this episode is that it ends the Pylea excursion. I know some people thoroughly enjoy the Pylea episodes, but I hail from the camp that finds them super corny and unnecessary, with the caveat that I am grateful for Fred's existence.
214. Calvary
Angel Season 4, Episode 12
Written by Mere Smith, Steven DeKnight & Jeffrey Bell
Directed by Bill L. Norton
Evil Cordelia murders Lilah in an inexplicable plot twist, which does a disservice to Lilah, one of Angel’s few complex female characters. The many great Angelus scenes preceding this moment saves the episode from being one for the bin.
213. Sense and Sensitivity
Angel Season 1, Episode 6
Written by Tim Minear
Directed by James Contner
The episode revolves around a stereotypical mobster character who enlists a warlock to cast a sensitivity spell on Kate’s police detachment so that he can escape from jail. The spell works by making everyone more sensitive so they forget to do their jobs, I guess? Kate is not an interesting secondary character and the exploration of her fraught relationship with her father is kinda boring.
212. The Killer in Me
Buffy Season 7, Episode 13
Written by Drew Greenberg
Directed by David Solomon